A great victory has been achieved, comrades. A vile threat to the safety of Mother Russia has been neutralized by the righteous hand of Justice. And by Justice, I of course mean a group of men with a propensity towards violence, and by vile threat, I mean human rights advocate Mr. Lev A. Ponomaryov.
Mr. Ponomaryov has long been a critic of the Kremlin and its leader President Dmitri Medvedev Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. Ponomaryov is the leader of the Moscow-based For Human Rights organization and is one of the leaders of the oppositional political movement Solidarity. This traitor to the glorious motherland had been previously warned that his activities were dangerous to the prosperity of the nation. The warning was delivered in the traditional non-violent way, by slashing the tires of his car (that’s true, not a joke).
"In Soviet Russia, Human Rights beats You!" - Yakov Smirnoff (if you are too young to get that reference, ask your parents. Or try reading a book for once)
In the above-linked story, the New York Times makes a grave error: “Many see a concerted campaign of intimidation that is the result of years of government efforts to portray independent groups as traitors to Russia.” Did you catch it? Russia is not trying to portray these groups as traitors, they are exposing them for what they really are. In this case, the Kremlin is the whistle-blower who is bringing attention to the evils that have corrupted the beautiful Siberian Paradise, exposing the snakes that offer the poisonous red apple of human rights to the unsuspecting virgin Eve that is the proud Russian people. One is forced to wonder whether the New York Times is planning to overthrow the Russian government in order to institute Maureen Dowd as the new President of the United States of Russia.
Maureen Dowd: Respected newspaper columnist or future iron-fisted leader of a democratic Russian republic? You be the judge.
For those who are concerned that these upstart human rights activists will destroy Mother Russia, there is something you can do to help turn the tide. Rise up out of your chair, emerge from your house and greet the freedom of the sunlight, walk down the avenues of freedom, and enter a liquor store and buy some vodka. Return to your home and drink all of that vodka (why not start on the walk back?). Then, just let the government take care of everything.
"Just drink this and let us take care of everything. We won't do anything morally questionable. Honest." - Kremlin
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Vladimir Putin the best variant of the president for Russia. Soon elections and I will necessarily vote for it. Whatever spoke, but Putin one of the most influential figures in the world.
Good luck.