Once again, the stock market took a plunge. While most people are panicking about the state of the economy, there is one man celebrating: the President. Just like Lex Luthor once tried to destroy coastal California in order to create valuable beachfront property out of his Nevada land holdings, Supervillain Obama is driving the market down so that he may swoop in when prices are at their lowest and buy the entire country for pennies on the dollar. And there’s no Superman to stop him, except…
Rush Limbaugh, the Conservative Superman. His powers include angry ranting and perscription drug addiction.
At this point, you may be saying, “Hey, don’t make fun of the President! He’s doing his best in a tough situation!” Oh, dear reader, I am not making fun. I am applauding. For far too long, this country has been subject to the pedestrian villainy of the Bush administration. Some may argue that the previous executive office, particularly the Vice President’s den of despair, is the very definition of supervillainy. However, the difference between villainy and supervillainy lies in finesse. The Bush administration attempted to remake the world in their image using a sledgehammer, and people were angry. The Obama administration will do it with a smile, and the people will cheer.
Barack Obama (Artist's Rendering)
I don’t really have a problem with villains. After all, they are usually far more interesting than heroes. Take a look at an X-Men movie. Who is cooler, Magneto or Iceman? If you said Iceman, please close your web browser and never return to this site again. If you said Magneto, you may read on.
In a recent article in the Washington Post, it is suggested that the White House may have maneuvered Rush Limbaugh into being the leader of a new conservative movement. This is a genius move because even though Limbaugh may be able to control those who regularly listen to his program, those people aren’t exactly a crack fighting force. While they’re calling in to his show and waiting on hold for two hours in order to tell Rush what a genius he is, Obama is instituting national health care. Having these listeners be a vanguard against the coming of “democratic socialism” is like having a baby be the security guard on a bank vault. All you have to do is jingle some keys and you can rob the place blind. Similarly, all Obama has to do is say the words, “a new New Deal” and conservatives will go into such violent seizures that they won’t notice what he does until the tremors pass.
So, long story short: Obama is a supervillain, Rush Limbaugh is a horrible Superman, and I would like to apply for a position as a henchman Cabinet member. Considering the content of this post, I’m sure to be a lock for a sweet job. I just wish I hadn’t paid my taxes for the past few years, then I could be Commerce Secretary.