In a proposal sent to the White House, the Environmental Protection Agency said that global warming and greenhouse gas emissions pose a threat to the public welfare. This finding is completely unprecedented and comes as a complete surprise to the people who have never seen An Inconvenient Truth. What many find surprising is how quickly the EPA acted to rule greenhouse gases hazardous, expecting the agency to take at least another five years of dilly-dallying before actually doing something.
This new finding is meeting resistance from, hold onto your hats, big business. And rightly so. As Bill Kovacs, a member of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce said, this finding means that “some environmental groups will sue to make sure it is applied to all aspects of the Clean Air Act.” How dare they! Environmentalists have had it too good for too long, and now they might start suing to make sure that air remains clean? I say start printing all court documents on asbestos and then we’ll see how many court actions those treehuggers initiate.
The EPA just brought us one step closer to Tree Marriage in California.
Furthermore, Mr. Kovacs goes on to say that the EPA’s new finding, if accepted, would subject every single project funded by the Stimulus Bill to environmental review. Being eco-friendly is all well and good when there’s a healthy economy, but once the stock market drops, people stop caring. Ask some out of work person if they want either a job immediately, or the faint promise of a job in six to eight months, assuming that a project can pass environmental review, and what do you think they’ll say?
Now, there are some who say that this finding will actually increase employment because the new measures would essentially create a brand new industry devoted to the retrofitting of other industries to comply with the new greenhouse gas standards. I say nonsense! Our ancestors made it by just fine by burning coal willy-nilly and driving cars with tailpipes dirtier than a Tijuana hooker. And if it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for us.
Okay, this pipe may not be as dirty as a Tijuana hooker, but the size is about right. Zing.
Basically, right now the American people have a choice: either breath easy financially; or breath easy in the sense that your lungs will take in air without too much trouble. It can’t be both, and when’s the last time your lungs ponied up cash for rent?